Just like there are positive reinforcements that can build a successful mature dating relationship, there are also certain elements that can act like a cancer to destroy the relationship. There is good and bad in all things and sometimes the bad elements to our humanity can get in the way of maturing appropriately. The good news is the more you can identify the negative killers of a mature dating relationship, the better off you will be to catch these cancerous thoughts at the gate of your mind.
One of the primary killers of mature dating relationships is pride. Pride comes in all shapes and sizes but it primarily comes from a place of selfishness. Most people think of our prideful person as someone who thinks too much of themselves but this isn’t always the case. Pride is what won’t give in when you’re in a disagreement, it’s what provokes you to anger and the desire to take what you think is rightfully yours. Pride masks itself as looking out for your best interest but love never does that. Love is purely concerned with the interest of the one being loved.
Along with pride comes his cousin, greed. Greed is what we see come out of little children when they play. They want all the toys to be completely theirs without the willingness to share. If one child has a toy they want, they throw a temper tantrum. Unfortunately this happens all the time in relationships and the root of the behavior is greed. We want what we don’t have and we covet to get what we want. Whether it be time, respect or something else, greed can kill a successful mature dating relationship quickly.
Lust is an enemy of true love. Love gives, love protects and love sacrifices. Lust on the other hand is aggressively selfish. It goes after a cheap love to replace true love in the other person. Lust causes commitments to be broken, heart to be shattered and dreams to get flushed down the drain. Lust manipulates and deceives to get what it wants. Lust is a cheap short cut to and end result that when done right requires sacrifice, humility and honor. Lust is another killer that can choke true love out of any relationship.
Bitterness or Unforgiven.
When you harbor hurt in your heart towards your partner bitterness begins to form. Just like fluid in the body causes infection if it isn’t removed, so does unforgiven pervert a loving heart into a bitter and hard one. Part of being in a mature dating relationship is a commitment to honesty. Being honest is sharing your feelings with your partner. You should feel the freedom to let them know if they hurt you or offended you in some way. You also need to forgive them for what they’ve done in order to keep love alive.
These are just a few ways mature dating relationships can get killed during the developmental process. Keep your eyes wide open for these cancerous enemies of love and face them head on when they lurk their evil face.